Humor

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than one second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.
Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. If can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

We all know that Han shot first.

I knew I would get a high score on the nerd test, but I was pretty baffled when I saw the end verdict

OMG, I'm a nerd king !

"Silence," commanded Goodgulf in a loud voice. "Speak not of the Great Ring here or anywhere. If Sorhed's spies discovered that you, Frito Bugger, hailing from the Sty, had the One Ring, all would be lost. And his spies are everywhere. The Nine Black Riders are abroad again, and there are those who claim to have seen the Seven Santinis, the Six Danger Signs, and the entire Trapp family, including the dog. Even the walls have ears," he said, pointing to two huge lobes which were protruding from behind the mantelpiece.

Bored of the Rings is the hilarious parody of J.R.R. Tolkien's epic fantasy, The Lord of the Rings. This side-splitting book follows the travels of Frito Bugger through Lower Middle-Earth on his quest to destroy the One Ring.
The story begins the same way The Lord of the Rings does, with Frito's uncle throwing a party for all the boggies in the Sty to attend. What are boggies, you ask. They are caricatures of Tolkien''s hobbits: "Boggies are an unattractive but annoying people whose numbers have decreased rather precipitously since the bottom fell out of the fairy-tale market."

'Bored of the Rings' has attracted many fans, though not so many as the original, with even a fansite which contains large snipplets from the book.

A softer world is a great picture cartoon, often bittersweet or melancholic.

(via FuckHedz)

Jinx.com has an impressive amount of cool geekwear.

"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him. In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake.

Read all about Raggot, the Rectal Rodent, and be sure to listen to the hilarious sound file too. (It is an urban legend, though...) Oh man, I'll never be able to hear someone say 'Armageddon' without bursting into laughter again...

Modern church has translated the bible into IRC lingo speak, which makes the book so much more understandable for them youngsters.

Wear the condom. No, for the love of Pete, not the mint-flavored one. Jesus, that thing burns.

Kids, this is all the shit I had to learn the hard way. Now that I'm retired it's time to pass it on, so you won't have to suffer the same indignities I did.

Google after the Microsoft takeover.